Envy creeps into my life about every 48-72 hours. That's an improvement. It used to be every 2-3. Maybe envy is not the right word. How about the phrase, "the grass is always greener"?
At this stage of my development, my "envy funks" only last about 20 minutes. But within that time frame, I'm in complete meltdown mode. Comparing myself to others is a nasty habit and one I've honed beautifully over the years. And why not? We're inundated with cars, clothes, homes, careers that others have and we want. I'm not blaming the media but...fine, I am! Ok, I'll spread my grievances out. I'm blaming the media and my family. Since all is fair on love and blogs it's only appropriate to call out those people who not only loved, supported, and cared for me (until this post), but also implanted little voices in my head. Voices that said, "Yeah, an A minus is good, but it's still not an A" or "Wear something nice to the party. Oh, and please brush your hair" or even "Julie's niece looks great. So thin!" Once ingrained the voices of your family become your own. When used for good they push us to achieve, when utilized for evil, we become obsessive, compulsive over-analyzers stuck within our own thought patterns.
Why is this all coming out now? Recently I've been pushing myself hard. Blogging, tweeting, facebooking (is that even a term?); it's fun and keeps me connected but is also exhausting. Primarily because it updates me to the goings-on of others in my field. Honestly, the world of instant updates wigs me out. When another health counselor posts an article, I feel compelled to do the same. It's keeping up with the Jones' times 10. I'm totally envious when I read about their flourishing practice, recent TV appearance or book deal.
Where the hell is my TV show and client waiting list?
Thank goodness this is when reality and gratitude gracefully appear. First of all, I've got all those things. My practice is crazy busy, I'm already on TV, and my book, well, you're currently reading it. But all of that is not even the point. It is so easy to get caught up with the notion that everyone's got it better than you or everyone's got is figured out BUT you. However, experiencing such thoughts is actually GOOD because in snapping out the destructive and obsessive mental pattern, we realize what we have and how lucky we are to have it.
After bashing my family (just a little) I must admit it was my beloved mother who sent me this quote:"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their own battle." No one is perfect and everyone's got their own sh-t. And I notice that when comparing sh-it, I more that likely want to stick with my own. See, now the grass on my side looks pretty green!